Spencer Paxton never liked self-portraits. At least not in the traditional sense.
“It always felt like flattening myself onto a page,” he said. “Like I was expected to take everything about myself and fit it neatly into a two-dimensional box.”
Instead, Paxton chose to redefine what a self-portrait could be. His artwork, Self-Portrait, 2024, contains no reflection or silhouette. Rather, it tells his story through meaningful personal items: a worn stuffed dog from childhood, a Poké Ball, a leaf plush from Animal Crossing, DIY goggles inspired by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and a handmade clay figurine.
"I wanted each item to show a different part of who I am," Paxton explained. "Each one has its own memory or feeling attached, and together, they say something meaningful about me."
Memories in Motion
Creating this unique self-portrait prompted Paxton to reflect deeply on his past.
Frequent moves throughout his childhood due to his father’s military career meant
friendships and familiar places were often temporary.
“Being a lonely high schooler wasn't good for my mental health,” Paxton admitted. “I wouldn't wish that feeling on anybody.”
Paxton also shared his complex relationship with childhood, influenced by his autism diagnosis.
“I don’t remember a lot of my childhood,” he said. “But I spend a lot of time thinking about how people perceive me. They sometimes see my interests as childish, so it's complicated.”
Amid this complexity, certain objects became constants—especially the stuffed dog in his artwork.
“Having something familiar like that was comforting,” Paxton said. “It was one thing that didn’t change.”
Pushing Creative Boundaries
Paxton is open about how his autism diagnosis influences his creative approach. Initially wary of new mediums due to sensory sensitivities, he pushed himself to explore and eventually embraced challenges like working with charcoal.
“I thought charcoal would bother me because of sensory issues,” he explained. “But once I got used to it, I actually enjoyed the process. It was a nice surprise.”
Similarly, the assignment behind Self-Portrait, 2024, required an entire ballpoint pen to be used, with no room for mistakes or corrections.
“It forced me to commit to each line,” he said. “I had to let go of the fear of messing up. That was scary but rewarding.”
Recognition and Validation
Paxton vividly remembers the moment his instructor, Nicole Davis, announced that his piece had been selected for the Figge Art Museum’s College Invitational.
“I was genuinely surprised,” Paxton said. “It’s easy to be overly critical of your own work.”
Seeing his drawing displayed among other student artists’ creations at the Figge was eye-opening.
“I realized then how powerful it is when others connect with your story,” he reflected. “It was incredibly validating.”
Art as an Anchor
Despite his success, Paxton doesn’t plan to pursue art professionally. Currently enrolled in Scott Community College’s American Sign Language (ASL)-English Interpreting program, he aspires to become a video relay interpreter, bridging the gap between Deaf and hearing communities.
“People often picture interpreters at concerts or large public events,” Paxton explained. “But I’m more interested in video relay interpreting, helping Deaf and hearing people communicate daily. That’s where I feel I belong.”
Even if art won’t become his career, creativity remains important. Paxton leads the SCC Art Club’s Discord community, writes poetry, and participates in the Creative Writing Club. Whether through drawing, digital art, or poetry, creating is simply part of who he is.
Self-Portrait, 2024 doesn’t show Paxton’s face, but in each detailed stroke, it reveals something even more significant: an honest and intimate portrayal of identity, shaped not by appearance but by the memories, objects, and stories that linger.
“People assume self-portraits have to show what you look like,” Paxton said. “But I think my piece says more about who I am than any drawing of my face ever could.”